i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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