i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
