Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize