Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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