Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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