Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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