id be glad to
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
