I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
