I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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