Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
