I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
