The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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