Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
