I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize