we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Randomize
