I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
