i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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