i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
