Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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