...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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