I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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