I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
