Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I could fuck to npr.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
