They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
