nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
