you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
