therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
