Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
