Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
