so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
