where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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