I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
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I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
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Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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