3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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