They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
