Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
