god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
