A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
