im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Randomize
