I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Randomize
