guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
