The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
