hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
This is the high leading the old right now
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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