We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
