She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize