Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
