On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
