I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
