i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
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Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
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My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
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