I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Blood and glitter go together right?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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