weddingsv make me drug and hornr
We named our party play list daddy issues
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
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I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
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Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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