We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
