I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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