I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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