I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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