My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
