Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
